i have returned from a wonderful holiday at home with my family and friends. i wished everyday i did not have to leave them and come back to the drama that i am living in, but i have returned. my apartment is now segregated once again. three on one half, three on the other. terrible. the one half is childish. stealing things, hiding things, vandalizing. the one girls boyfriend stated he HATES the one roommate on my side. she now has to lock her door whenever she leaves. he is here all the time. this is the boy that punched his own girlfriend while they were on a pretty bad acid trip and knocked her tooth out. i lock my door when i go to sleep.
the bad guys are supposed to be outside, not in my house. haha.
while home, i applied to the community college nursing program and had to take an entrance exam. i took it once and was short 5 points of getting in. i took it again for the last time and i am praying to everything i got those points. if i didn't, i am really really screwed. more loans, more money for my mom to pay. just plain bull shit. i hate it. i just want it all to be over so i can make money and pay everything back. so, my fingers are permanently crossed and i am constantly wishing with every breath.
this weekend is Kendall's birthday and i am very excited to cook him dinner and get him a cake. i will be inviting his mom down to join us so it should be a great night. not many people, but he did say he did not want a party. hmm... he won' go out for dinner because he thinks i will make the restaurant sing to him (which i would do) so, i'm making him burgers or a steak. not sure yet. then the following weekend we are going to see a couple of his favorite bands down here in philly. i bought the tickets last weekend so we should have a good time. i am really excited about that.
that's about it for now. i posted a quote that i liked and i feel it fits me for my life right now. even though things are messy and i keep FUCKING up, there is a reason behind it. i am not the only one that believes that. it's just a tough spot right now, not knowing how to get your life in order when you are too stupid to help yourself. i'll keep my head up, fingers crossed, and breathing that one wish. because i really did try my hardest.
Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
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